Coming out

Coming out can be one of the most exciting, worrying, stressful, happy, emotional times of your life.

It can be hard work and risky but coming out is the most liberating thing you can do for your self.

We all go though that messy head stage when we start to wonder if we really are gay, lesbian, bisexual, TG or TS all the questions, worrys and thoughts running round your head. I remember it well and its not a nice place to be!! I call it messy head because thats the only way I can describe how it felt to wake up every morning and remember that your still not sure if your in to boys or girls!

The experiment stage can be quite fun, but you have to get there you have to go from messy head to hum.. Ok, I need to try this out and that can be quite a transition!!

You feel you need to justify it to your self, when in actually face you have no need to do that what so ever!

Luckily most of us get there in the end and manage to find the few encounters that help us to start clearing out that messy head. For some of us this takes years for some, they dont make it past messy head but I'm glad to say that now more and more people are getting from messy head to out much quicker and far more pain free than a few years ago!

Being gay is part of you, its part of your personality and guides your life more than you can imagine weather you follow the scene or not.

The first part of coming out is coming out to your self. Admitting to your self that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, TG or TS and getting used to that, making any changes in your life you feel you need to make so you are happier.

You can change your social habits, get to know their scene, test the water and see what takes your fancy. If you dont like that then may be find some more conservative support groups or on line organization that might be able to help you deal with what you need to.

Some people may find help from a councillor or there doctor as it can be quite a stressful and emotional time, but no matter how long it takes, its worth it once your there!!

I remember waking up on the first morning I actually knew I was gay .. I have a little lump in my tummy and it had changed from fear to excitement! All of a sudden I wanted to live my life, I wanted to get out there and find the girl of my dreams!

Being gay also nothing to be ashamed of, you dont have to go to marches, and fight for equal right in the office place, but you should never hide your sexuality for any one.

By coming out you are not only letting other people know that your happy with your sexuality but your proving to your self that its ok to be out as gay, to live your life as you wish to and that you dont need to hide it from any one. Finally it actually helps other gay, lesbian, bisexual, TG & TS people come out and come to terms with there own sexuality. For all the 15 year olds out there who are thinking about coming out, seeing a young man or woman who is confident, successful, happy and gay is a huge boots to there self confidence.

It is suggested that you test the water before putting it in the local paper, by talking to trusted friends and family about your situation you can see who is going to be supporting you in case any thing should go wrong. You will also get some practice of how to do it! It might also be advisable to talk to a trusted work colgue or union representative before coming out in your work place. Do not let my saying this scare you, I just think it is important for young outees to have a safe environment to returne to should any one have any problems.

Coming out is the start of the rest of your life, its the start of a new beginning, of a happy and exciting life that in the end will lead you to eternal happiness (lol this may or may not happy flokes ;-) .. hehe)

Coming out is something you will be doing for the rest of your life, you start with the first person you tell and you carry on throughout life when you move house, change work, meet new friend and so on. Once you have enitially come out it does get better. You work out methods of dropping it into convsation with out even opening your mouth ;-) You can say it with a porud look on your face, without mumbling and confusing your words and the best bit is you stop shaking!!

Every one has difference experances of coming out, some sotrys are funny or happy others are not so, but you have to remember that coming out if something you should do for you. This life, what ever your believe, well be over all too soon. And if you spend all of it sneeking around hiding your true identity then you have wasted time when you could have been out having fun with that girl you liked ;-)

What ever your experance you will be able to find people to help, weather they are on line, doctors or councilers, trused friends  or smaratons.

If you would like to share your coming out story with every one then we would love to have it up here!! You can find my story on this web site and you can ask questions about coming out over at the message board